Monday, March 06, 2006

They sure do blend well, no? by Kim






I have been in a situation, where I had a son on my own, had gotten married, and had to blend them together (err, i shall say, try to blend them together). It was very difficult and never worked. I had vowed after separating, that I would never be in a relationship with someone, because blended families just never worked! Yes, I would stay single until, the boys were grown! (I also said to a certain Frenchman that if I never had sex again in my life, I would be fine with that...that was before I met him, he still laughs at that comment)

UNTIL....he came into our lives. From the moment, and even before the moment they met, these three guys, well they blend!

With my relationship before, from very early on, I did ALOT of mediating, for the whole 7 years, until I could no longer continue. It was exhausting, but I just thought it was normal. I even had made it a rule, that my ex, by no means was to discipline my oldest son, as he was not used to his type of disciplining. I tend to be more of a reasoning, lecturing, explaining, giving examples of consequences, etc, type of disciplining, but I am also very German, and although I am very fair, when I say something, I mean business, and they know it, I try to avoid the whole telling them something over and over and over and then getting to the point of losing it, I will say something at the most twice. It helps that my two boys are really good. (Thomas, with his french upbringing will attest to that:)

But from the moment the frog jumped into our lives, its as if, we blended, with no problems. Its been over a year and we still blend, ,and let me tell you, we have been fortunate enough that we have spent loads of time together, and been in many different situations together. We discipline exactly the same way, with love and reasoning, explanations, and fairness! The kids, I think even prefer him, and when something is wrong, they will ask me to leave, and talk to him...something that made my heart shine:)

So I guess, I wanted to write this story, to say, that it doesn't necessarily have to be hard to blend a family, you just need the right people and the right mix to blend! :o)

Btw, if anyone needs any advice on trying to blend families, I have 7 years of experience, well not success, but I most certainly know what NOT to do ;o)

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3 Comments:

At March 06, 2006, Blogger Expat Traveler said...

They just look so cute together. And happy. :)

 
At March 07, 2006, Blogger buzzgirl said...

That's so great. I hope I can find someone someday who loves my daughter, too.

 
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