Thursday, May 11, 2006

The crazy things they ask us at the border...By Kim


We travel through the border quite often, I mean really, some of them recognize me and at duty free (they have the cleanest bathrooms, so we make a pit stop there) they actually offered me a frequent buyer card. I thought, gee, you know you have a boyfriend in Canada, when they offer you that. The lady said, well I noticed you were here very often, she was saying there are quite a few people that are in the same situation. (Now if I could find those people, maybe we could carpool or join a club)

It's funny, going into Canada, they sometimes never even take my passport of the kids info, they just ask me a few question, and then okay, you can go. On the US side its much different, they have to ask you tons of questions, and look into your car, (as if I may be concealing some illegal fruits or stuff, like I would hide it, where they could see it from their podium, ppff)

What is funnier is guessing what they will ask this time. Oh, let me tell you, we have had some questions, that the shocked look on my face, must speak volumes, because they will sometimes explain why they ask. Now I ask them questions, just random questions, I figure what the heck, it's only fair.

Here are some of the questions that we get asked regularly passing over the bridges and to the border to Thomas house or train we go.......

(Border control in CAPS, me regular)

WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING IN CANADA? We are visiting my boyfriend.
WHERE DID YOU MEET YOUR BOYFRIEND AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING HIM? umm, about 1 1/2 years and is that really important? WELL DID YOU MEET HIM ONLINE? uh, are you kidding me? DO YOU HAVE ANY FIREARMS OR WEAPONS IN THE CAR? No of course not, but really do people really admit to you when they do?OKAY YOU CAN GO (aha, they don't like it when you ask questions)

WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING IN CANADA? I'm picking up my boyfriend at the train station in brockville and then coming back. WILL YOU BE STAYING FOR 48 HOURS? No I'm picking up my boyfriend and then coming right back here. ANY FIREARMS OR WEAPONS OR TOBACCO IN THE VEHICLE? Sigh* no OKAY YOU CAN GO

WHY ARE YOU COMING TO CANADA? To visit a friend in Montreal. HOW LONG WILL YOU BE STAYING WITH THIS FRIEND? 5 days. ARE THESE KIDS YOURS? Well yes they are, would you like to see the birth certificates?(they did not BTW) DO YOU HAVE ANY FIREARMS OR WEAPONS? No I do not. OKAY YOU CAN GO

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO IN CANADA? We'll be staying with him for 5 days for holiday. AND WHO IS HE TO YOU? (uh, my lover), er boyfriend (I'm so sick of saying boyfriend, but didn't have the gall to say 'lover') HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING? 1 1/2 years. AND HOW DID YOU MEET? Through friends (apparently saying you met on the internet is very scandalous, as the look the one guy gave me, you know, the you mean you aren't chopped up in his freezer look) NOW THIS MAY SEEM A LITTLE PERSONAL, BUT DO YOU PLAN ON GETTING MARRIED??? (I kid you not, he asked this, I think we both must have dropped our jaws) yes eventually, but not while I'm in Canada, if that is what you are asking, and why are you asking? AND DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE MOVING TO CANADA, WHEN YOU DO THIS??? No definitely not. OH WELL ITS JUST TO KNOW IF YOU WILL BE MOVING TO CANADA IN THE FUTURE.

That guy was the most nosiest, er thorough!

On the US side, they look like they are going to shoot you.

They always ask...

HOW DID YOU MEET? (our standard answer) through friends.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TOGETHER? long time.
ARE YOU BRINING ANY FRUITS OR VEGGIES OR MEATS INTO THE STATES? No only chocolate and croissants.
DID YOU PURCHASE ANY KETCHUP WHILE IN CANADA? Are you serious? Is it illegal to do so? NAH, MY WIFE JUST LOVES THE KETCHUP FROM CANADA AND I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO DRIVE TO THE NEAREST TOWN TO GET SOME, I WAS JUST ASKING TO SEE IF I COULD BUY SOME OFF OF YOU.
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? (I always want to mess with them and tell them something different and bizarre everytime, but I'm such a goodgirl, I answer honestly) hairdresser, why do you need a new one? (one guy said, oh you can go, my mom was a hairdresser)

It's true, I wish I was really daring and they didn't look so scary, but I would really love to mess with them, just for fun you know ;)

They have asked us so many bizarre questions, we go through, and just laugh the rest of the way, coming up with different scenario's of what we would have liked to answered.

HOOOOORAY, I will be passing through the border to retrieve my frog tomorrow night and we will have a couple of glorious days together, so don't expect any posts, well unless of course, my frog will be doing the joy of living post, that jillybean is patiently waiting for!!

11 Comments:

At May 12, 2006, Blogger Expat Traveler said...

yeah you get to see your frog! Mine is sitting 2 feet in front of me watching tv... Yeah the border guys are difficult. Remember to scare them once with the sick tactic! Hahaha...

 
At May 12, 2006, Blogger Pam said...

What a hoot! Reminds me of our recent trip to England. We went via ferry; drove our British car, had our American passports and explained to the custom officials that we reside in France. We went through without question and left them cross eyed! HA!

 
At May 12, 2006, Blogger Léons Life said...

I can't believe that they ask about your frog and when and how long etc......

My god if they did that in France there would be something drastic, like a ...strike !

Pam - We do the ferry trip 2 or 3 times a year. One French Passport, 1 UK passport and one French ID card. I always have everything prepared and sometimes
they just wave you thourgh and don't even bother glancing at all that paperwork !

 
At May 12, 2006, Anonymous janet said...

ah! non, on ne ferait sûrement pas grève!
on demanderait à voir leur chef auquel on demanderait
quel article du réglement les autorise à nous demander de dévoiler notre vie privée, quand le réglement a été établi, à partir de quel décret d'application de quelle loi,la date de parution au Journal Officiel (J.O.) de cette
loi,l'article précis autorisant l'établissement du réglement qui les autorise à poser des questions sur la vie privée des citoyens...

 
At May 12, 2006, Blogger carra said...

I had some experience with the British officers! I should write an article one day about it! But the questions they ask! Like is he your friend or ... more? What do they want! The measurements of my husbands penis! That is so horrible and believe me if you come from Eastern Europe it's worse! Even now that Lithuania is in EU they still treat me like I come from anoother planet I just don't get it! They are so rude!

 
At May 12, 2006, Blogger Kim/Thomas said...

jen, yeah i'm so happy to see him, its been 2 weeks, arg...

pam, they are really cross eyed when we leave too, 2 kids, 1 french passport, 1 american, 1 canadian proof of residency, they are like..wooo

Leons life and janet,
It is amazing that they have the nerve to ask us those things, and there should be a law against it, we americans are so nosy, too nosy for our own good! I sometimes just look in amazement, like I cannot believe you would ask that, we haven't raised pigs together, as thomas would say:)

 
At May 12, 2006, Blogger traveller one said...

TWO WEEKS??!!!!! You MADE it thru TWO WHOLE WEEKS!!! I would love to witness the grand reunion

*wicked grin*

 
At May 15, 2006, Blogger Kim/Thomas said...

Kimmie, *blushing* our reunion was, as always very joyous, 2 weeks is a long time, we had a lot to catch up on ;)

On the way to the train station (2 hour drive) it was this beautiful spring green on the ground and trees, a cobalt blue on one side of the sky and a shiney sky blue with gorgeous sun rays on the other side, and honest to God, everytime I turned a bend, a giant rainbow would appear, I almost drove right through the colors at one point, I could have gotten out of my car and stood in the ROYGBIV.
The drive there was just amazing, I only wish I had brought my camera to capture it for you all! So by the time I got there, I was as excited as a little kid to see him, I'm usually acting like a high school girl when I'm with him, glowing, blushing, giddy and all that, but I was on top of the world:)

 
At May 15, 2006, Blogger Kim/Thomas said...

Oh and the Canadian border officer, asked me, what I'm going to do in canada? To which I replied, going to the train station. And he said, oh taking a trip? I said no, picking up my boyfriend, and he goes, "oh too bad", you can go. No passport, nothing.

The US border officer, said, what were you doing in CA? I said bringing my b/f to the trainstation after a visit for the weekend, to which he said, where does he live? Montreal, I replied. And he said, "your boyfriend is a kanuk (?), how did you meet him?" This time, I just sighed deeply, and said, do I really need to tell you that? he said, nah, just curious (wtf?!) what do you do for a living? I'm like come on, can I just tape that on my forehead when I'm driving through, why do you people need to know this? AND he said, "oh just curious again!"
*slapping my palm on my forehead repeatedly*

 
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