A 7 year old, who already gets it...by kim

Is this conversation normal?

Cheese: Mom, guess what? My Dad asked me if I would like him to pack me a lunch or if I would like to buy..

Me: Cool, and so what did you choose?

Cheese: I said I'd like to bring my lunch!

Me: Great! What did you bring then??

Cheese: Oh nothing, my Dad didn't make me one, he always promises to do things and then never does them!

I was so sad on one hand, cause he has to feel this way, when this person should just unconditionally be there for him and if you are going to fricken ask if you want to make a lunch for someone, then the least you could do is make the freakin lunch!! Is that soo difficult!???

On the other hand, I'm glad he gets it kinda, because then when a situation arises where he cannot go to the day camp that is right up the road because his father was supposed to sign him up and for the last 3-4 weeks I have been asking him to do it and he has blown it off. So today when the kids woke up expecting to go to rec center playday, and I called and Pickles was fine and able to go, but because Cheese was not signed up, neither could go.

So now both their summer plans are totally blown because of this asshole that claims to be a father. I was holding out on signing him up because every other activity he has been in I have paid (which I guess I will just continue to do that from now on and not even bother with him, as this is the second activity he has not been able to do because his father was supposed to sign him up and did not) and he told me he would sign him up for this, so I figured that I would have to end up paying for it, but did not take into account that it could fill up, it never has before! I was silly to think anything would change!

Oh and to top it off, Cheese's cute little mohawk, that he waited all winter for and the last day of school for...and his brother and him were matching...well now it's just a brush cut, his dad picked him up, Pickles asked him, how do you like our hair styles, and he said "great!" Took Cheese home and told him, "I'm buzzing off your mohawk" no choice, just that! Apparently because I never "asked" him if I could give him one, it was NOT ok.. yeah that makes sense, I should start asking for permission to put him in a blue shirt on fridays...ayayayayya.. just shoot me now!

Cheese was so upset about it, but holds it all in, he says he's too shy to tell his dad and can't tell him things like that. I guess it makes sense when I say he doesn't have to go to his dad's house, he does the happy dance!

I just don't get how you can use your children as pawns?? It makes no sense to me, I could never NOT put them first..I just don't get it!

Well I guess, I should just count down the days till he is 18 and I don't have to deal with him!

Oh and maybe he'll get a clue someday to stop leaving his 7 year old son alone in the house while he drive 2 miles down the road to get cigarettes or who knows what, without a phone available to him...and start concentrating on how to be a real father.. yeah that is what was happening, and could I mention it to him?? NOOOO, because then he would take it out on Cheese for telling me anything...arggggg

So now I will try to figure out what the kids can do for the summer, they have camp for 1 week, and my parents house for 1 week..then 6 weeks left to plan...argggggggg

The picture at the top is true, divorce does not have to be war, but when you have one person who is insistent on using a little boy to get back and teach the mother lessons or whatever the frick he is doing..it makes it very difficult for it not to be a war. I would love for it to be nice and still a team, I thought anybody could do that if they tried, but if you only have one trying, what is the point??